My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
