Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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