Duck Duck Cougar?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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