yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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