I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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