i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
