He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
