When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
