Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
