I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
