Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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