At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
