I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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