therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You can't motorboat a personality
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
