Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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