im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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