she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
