help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
