I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
third nipple confirmed
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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