Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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