so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
