loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
