I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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