You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
