trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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