No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just gift wrapped bread.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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