Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
