My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
