physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Randomize
