I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
