in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
