I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
