So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
