Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
