All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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