wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
