i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
