I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
