She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
