You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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