Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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