that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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