NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
