They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
