Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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