I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Dick very happy bro
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
