i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
