so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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