Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
