I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
